What’s the cost of confidence? How to build your self-esteem

It’s the buzzword of the beauty industry, and echoes across secondary school PSCHE lessons; we are obsessed with self-esteem. Almost as much as we aren’t obsessed with ourselves. But maybe we should be. Maybe we should think a little better of ourselves, and do more to keep us in our good books.

It turns out that when we don’t believe in ourselves, we are less likely to live the life we aspire to. We all suffer from low self-esteem. Yep, even the Instagram models you follow, or the celebrities you retweet. And low self-esteem can bring a bigger burden than making you give up on applying for that new job. It turns out that by not exactly being your number 1 fan, you could be dealing with the effects in the future.

If you’re low self-esteem needs perking up – or scraping off the floor – here are the symptoms you should be looking for: Aside from disliking yourself, you might go as far to feel worthless, and as if no one likes you. You might even blame yourself for things that you can’t change, or as if you deserve the bad things that come your way. Are you splurging in the highstreet, spending money that won’t fit your weekly budget?

And whilst all these symptoms might make you feel as if you are alone, you are far from it.

Start thinking positive to boost that self-esteem

When we are feeling down about life, it’s likely that we are feeling down about ourselves. And when the bad vibes hit, we need to start thinking positive. To kick start that self-esteem, surround yourself with the people you love. Chances are, they might give you back a bit of that love you need, and remind you of those great qualities in yourself you might be forgetting. Plus, this priceless treat can cut back at the myth that you are alone.

Next on the list, is giving a bit of the love back. It turns out the best way to get feeling good, is to do good. Whether you’ve helped an elderly woman with her shopping bags on the bus, kept that door open a little longer, or given up some time for a charitable cause, you can see that you aren’t quite as worthless as you once thought.

If you’re still struggling to see the wonderful in yourself, get making some lists: for the first list, jot down all of your strengths and all of your achievements. When you’re having a bad day, look back through it, and remind yourself of the great you have, and will, do.

The next list is to remind yourself not just of the good inside of you, but the good in the world around you. Gratitude journals are the new, and rather unique, trend for feeling positive. In fact, you can find your very own, right here.

By simply reminding yourself of what you are grateful for, you can send on some love, and keep a little for yourself.

Get out and about

We are all allowed a day off from the gym, but it turns out that getting out and doing different is exactly what we should be doing if we aren’t feeling too good.

But don’t worry about preparing for a 5k. Simply taking up a hobby or signing up for a class will bring in the benefits, without having to wrestle with your sports bra.

However, don’t think you can ditch an exercise routine just yet: regular workouts – no matter how extreme – can pump up your endorphins, and get you feeling a little more proud than usual.

Set yourself some goals, and stick to them

It’s not unlikely that if you aren’t feeling too highly of yourself, you just don’t feel in control. It’s time to get back in the driving seat, and get in gear. Even if you still keep the learner sticker on.

When you take control of your life, and start asserting yourself, you can regain the confidence that you lost along the way.

Even if you’re setting a small goal – maybe you’re going to run everyday this week, or you’re going to reach a new target at work – when you achieve it, you can see yourself rising through the ranks. And you won’t feel as if you’re still on the bottom rung.

But when it comes to meeting your goals, you should also be learning to focus on what makes you happy. If it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, don’t do it. Say no to going out with people that don’t make you feel good, or say no to the things that make you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

Reduce your stress levels

It’s no surprise that stress can sink our self-esteem. And that’s exactly how we feel, like the ship wreck at the bottom of the ocean. When our self-esteem plummets, we are prone to experiencing the traits of more serious mental health disorders. If we encounter this, the effects can figure more significantly, and much more detrimentally, than cringing about an awkward moment at work.

While learning to reduce your stress will take more words, and more time to work out than we could afford this article, it certainly is important when it comes to feeling that bit better about ourselves. But the quick tricks you can put in place to get some serious me-time can give you a hand when you need it most: make sure you are getting your 8 hours of sleep a night, and schedule your self-care to ensure that you are looking out for yourself. You need it.

The truth is, no one is perfect. And certainly no one feels that way. Sometimes a little stress, and a desire to be that little bit better isn’t such a bad thing. Call it drive, or pressure, it’s natural to feel a bit like we sometimes fall short.

But if you’re swapping falling short for feeling depressed, you might need the love that you deserve. And you might just need that love from yourself.